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Why do i hate being married

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Divorce isn't an option but I hate being married

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I am starting to think that marriage is the worst thing ever. You should be very specific with the concern that you have. I started finding porn though.

Until that day, they may hate the thought of marriage. I miss him, but I know it is best for both of us since our end goals are obviously different. My wife fought with me for hours. Where was God in this marriage?

Wives Confess: I Hate Being Married

I hate being a parent I don't hate my kids, but I hate being a parent. I hate not having anything even remotely resembling a social life. I hate cleaning up after my kids. I hate driving some of them to school. I hate having to cook for them all the time. I hate listening to them fight, or cry, or beg for something. I hate having to take them to sports or activities so they're not bored. I hate having to keep watch over them when friends come over to play. I hate never being able to go anywhere new, see anything new, do anything new. I can't wait for them all to grow up and go away to why do i hate being married. Until then, I'm responsible for them. I'll be 52 when the last leave the house. I'd say half my life will be gone, and I'll have nothing but regrets. The first kid was ok, I was 28 and figured I would make a good parent. The second got annoying by the time he turned 3. The third and fourth were definitely a mistake in judgement on my part. There's times I can't stand the sound of their voices. A couple times I've even gone so far as to wear earplugs and ignore them for an hour or two. I usually stay up late and deprive myself of hours of sleep, just because I know that why do i hate being married sooner I go to sleep, the sooner another day of dealing with my children will start for me. Passing on my genes is not worth this. If I would have known I'd hate parenthood so much, I'd have gotten a vasectomy at 18. And why do i hate being married top it all off, I don't drink alcohol. I never acquired a taste for it, and earlier in life had no desire to kill off brain or liver cells, nor give up any self-control. I think I'd like to learn to appreciate a good beer or well-crafted spirit, but I won't. How much more miserable would my life be if I let slip to the wife or others how much I regret almost all of my decisions of the past 18 years moving to Arizona, having kids, and sometimes even including marriage. Why even bother typing this up. I feels a little better just to put it out there, and I know that nobody I know will see this or be able to connect this to me. I put on a pretty decent act as a responsible and almost caring parent. I've been living the lie for years. My parents and grandparents didn't do that. If dancing, music, skating lessons were inconvenient or cost to much, guess what. Go outside and learn how to make mud pies, ride bikes and play with other kids--entertain yourself. If they wanted to go do something, they did it-the kids sat down, shut up and behaved respectfully, no matter how boring it was. If you acted up, you got your tail beat with a switch or a flip-flop. You, as a parent, wants to sleep in. They did chores to take the burden off the parents, cleaned up after themselves. They cut grass, washed dishes and scrubbed a toilet. The problem isn't that you have kids. If you want to be happy as a parent. Stop letting your kids run your life, Put your You and Your Spouse First, teach them responsibility and discipline, stop giving in to their every whim and take back your damn life. Mother of 3 grown children who are the most intelligent, responsible and wonderful people I've ever met. I'm almost 19, mother of a 2 year-old daughter, and I can't handle it. My mom helps out, but only some. The father turned into garbage after the pregnancy. I don't like people in general, loathe holidays, have anxiety and depression, work a crappy part-time job, and having a human crying non-stop near me is abysmal. I didn't come from a bad family or a bad school district. I felt I received a good education, though I'm finishing in an alternative school. But what did they not emphasize enough. This leads to real-world disasters. I just have one question to the unhappy parents: when you are out with your child, perhaps at a park or in a cafe, would anyone know that you were unhappy. What I means is, do you why do i hate being married on the smiles and the laughs for the sake of the child etc. The reason I ask is that when I look at parents with kids they all seem to be laughing, smiling and playing around. Some have even told me that life only begins once you have kids. Not one person would guess in a million years that I hate my children, I plaster their sweet faces on social media and talk about them and take them out everywhere, even have their friends for sleepovers and lie to other parents about how I truely feel. I never thought I would feel this way, I honestly even feel guilt for hating them. But I have sacrificed soo much for them to a point where I don't even know who I am anymore. I sacrificed my body, my sleep, all my time, everything I have. Obviously I knew there'd be sacrifices, but I haven't done anything I enjoy doing in years. I think you see those parents being happy for their children, and to pretend just for awhile, that it's not that bad. A couple that I know just had a baby. The dad is a go with the flow kind of guy and eventhough the baby was unplanned he welcomed it as he wants a family. Now when I see them the mom jokes and laughs while saying don't do it to me. They both say it's so much work and they are annoyed and sleepless. I do have to admit that the baby is adorable and made me more inclined to have a baby. I would do that a good few times a year so that you know regular relief is right around the corner. I would pick your kid up from school once a week along with my own child, just so you can run that last pesky errand. I would offer to car pool to your child's sports games, or recitals so that you can spend the evening just cooking for yourself for once. If you're sick, I would come over with chicken soup and hang out with your kids for a while so you can get much needed rest. If you're having trouble with your teenager, I would offer to have them stay with me for a couple of weeks, so you can both get some space to reevaluate it all. I am a parent who is extremely overwhelmed. I suffer from postpartum depression and almost admitted myself to hospital last weekend due to suicidal thoughts, and I have recently harmed myself. I would do this for you all if I had the option because I want to be the village that you are all missing, that I'm missing. I'm craving communal parenting, just like in Congo, where everyone chips in as a collective and makes parenting a bit more bearable. I'm sorry you're all going though this. Please take care of yourselves. I know if your cups are full, you will feel a lot better about parenting. People can judge all they like, but know that millions of others can empathise, so perhaps you're not as evil as what society paints you out to be, you're just overwhelmed, burnt out, depressed and empty. Self care is top priority everyone. Like being stuck in a relationship that isn't good for you, and wasn't right for you. You know you should have left a long time ago, but you stayed and end up resenting and eventually hating that person. The only difference is this is a relationship you can't break free from; can't divorce or walk away from, clean. My child is in why do i hate being married late teens and will be leaving home soon. I think I'll need about a year of no contact to start liking him again, to deal with the stress and anxiety and depression I suffered being trapped in parenthood and to deal with the resentment I have toward him, my family and the resentment I have towards myself. I want to be a better parent, but i also just want him to go away. If I chose not to have kids, that love would have never developed. I would have more freedom and none of the stresses associated with that decision. I would recommend to anyone that is unsure if they should have children to date someone first who already has a young one your eyes will be opened to reality. Her place is always trashed, she's basically given up on stopping him from drawing on the walls so every part of the lower walls is an art show. Her once arranged dvd collection has become a pile of broken cases and scratched up movies. She rarely buys herself anything because what's the point. I visit her place and she only visits me when she is alone luckily she understands that he is not welcome in my house due to him breaking every. It amazes me how no matter what the object is once its in his little hands its never the same again. Just knowing I have my own place to escape to after we have spent the day together always makes me happy. She becomes super angry about every couple of months I've been told its more like jealousy with me and her single friends for having so much freedom, no worries and being able to do anything I want, when I want. I told her from the start I didn't ever want the responsibilities hence why I am kid-free. Which is to bad due to her and I being otherwise excellent together. I was on the pill at the time I became pregnant. Evidently the antibiotics I took at one point for an illness made it less effective, and I wasn't protected when I thought I was. At the time I was single and, well, enjoying college, including the social life. I've been married for a year to a wonderful guy who has taken me and my kids on as family. I work part-time, so we don't have to pay as much for child why do i hate being married saves us moneybut my husband makes minimum wage. It is a massive grind to keep food on the table, the lights on in our studio apartment, and the kids clothed they grow so fast. Thankfully we qualify for local community assistance, but I wish daily that I didn't have kids. I did the calculations recently and was so saddened by just how much money I could have saved had I not had my child. And know I'll never be able to forgive myself. I could've bought a why do i hate being married, travelled off the savings, worked remotely from anywhere in the world. When my child is away from me for a few hours it's like my energy levels top up and I feel alive again; like I can do or be anything. Yes, I too could have retired by now. I put myself through college and graduate school. Instead I'm working terrible jobs just to keep a roof over our heads. We have three children sonsand frankly, if we could do it over, we would not have any children. They're just not worth the aggravation and heartache. We were good to them, but as soon as they acquired partners, the women turned them against us, even though we never interfered. But they all knew where to come if they needed money or got into a jam. Children are our biggest regret. I would rather help homeless animals, or some worthy charity, than give anything to our children. We were advised to leave them a token amount, to show they had not been forgotten, so our final wishes could not be contested. Most of our assets are in an unbreakable, incontestable trust. They will be shocked to learn that some charities will be splitting almost three million dollars, and they will get twenty bucks each. Curse away, my sons, curse away. Both mine like similar things and can entertain and play with each other meaning i dont have to do as much entertaining. I'd rather be shot dead than have anymore kids, got a boy and girl and im done. No one to get them from the hospital for a minor appointment or major surgery. They return to empty homes where the food they left on table is right where they left it. Nothing has moved an inch since they locked that door when they left. No holiday plans unless they go some place solo or get invited as a third wheel or the person everyone talks about who he is still single. Society just expects us and is designed for us to have kids. No one should have kids to have a built-in support system. Do you realize how many people are estranged from their kids. And how many parents only hear from their kids when said kids want something. And how many people rot in nursing homes because their kids can't be bothered. Better off putting all the money spent on raising them into investments, then you'll have plenty to pay caretakers when you need them. I used to like playing with my friends kids and thought I'd like kids of my own. Didn't think about how crappy it'd actually be being a parent. Like when I left it was my friends dealing with all the headaches and annoyances. I left and went about my footloose and fancy free life. Had I a crystal ball and seen my future I wouldn't have done it any of it. Unfortunately I don't have anyone to vent these emotions to we live in such a judgmental world. If I told this to my parents they'd look at me like I had yellow skin with pink polka dots all over me. But I'm sorry I just feel no joy or fulfillment at all in parenting. I would give my right arm to get back the life I had before I gave birth. Some people like parenting and some people hate it. I envy those who are single with no children. They have a freedom and piece of mind that can never ever be returned to me now that I am a parent. You can be married and miserable, you can have kids and be miserable. It's all about perception because a lot of single people without kids surround themselves with plenty of friends that they acquired over the years. I know many moms who are struggling to find other mom friends. I don't connect or relate to other mums and am not interested in their kids, i have my own. I'd like a friend with no kids but alas i dont have anything in common with them anymore. I long for my child free, careless days of being a teen so much. I loved that period of my life. When i die i hope i get to spend eternity as a beautiful, Slim, carefree 16-19year old again. I miss my old life and happiness so much. Even if id not had kids i would age and not be a beautiful carefree teen forever anyway. That's life doesn't stop me reminiscing. I'd have regretted never having any too so really you can't win. Barren women should keep their bitter thoughts out of these posts which are for parents. I love my kids and was having a bad day when I posted on here. I'm not a natural parent but at least i have achieved something in having my beautiful clever kids. I have a working reproductive system but unlike you, I'm why do i hate being married going to make the stupid decision of using it. Your crotch goblins aren't special. Nor are they beautiful or clever. Good job at proving your ignorance. You either weren't able to find anyone to have kids with or are not capable due to health reasons. No one who made a decision that they are happy with would respond in such a manner. I am childfree out of choice but do see the pros of having kids as well. They don't outweighs the cons so I haven't had kids so far. Seems as you are bitter and do not have that choice. Maybe you are a woman over 45. This thread is full of your constant gloating which most people have caught on to. You will not be 18 for long, trust me. Maybe when you actually mature and become an adult yourself you can talk about what its like having kids. Most normal teenagers dont want kids either. Funny thing is, you could end up with them yet i thought i was barren at that age. Wonder if your own parents regret and hate you and thats why your so bitter and twisted at such a young age. Thank God for internet and anonymity. Btw, at 18 you got alot of maturing to do. Your still a kid and you will change through the years. Of course there why do i hate being married nothing appealing about kids at 18. You really cannot comment on this at all, your still child yourself ffs. I wish i didn't hate this but i do and its getting harder to hide it and contain my anger everyday that passes. I am with someone who wants kids. Only I know how difficult it was to find that someone I am with now. Everyday I talk myself into reasons as to why I should have a baby. Tax return credits, joint income will make the finances of having a baby less, a day why do i hate being married based out of someone's house won't be as expensive, I will have a companion at home who will never leave my partnerI will have more things to do on weekends, so on and so forth. As you can see none of my reasons include wanting to have a baby and see him or her grow. I am slowly caving into what society dictates because I don't want to go through life why do i hate being married. I have a feeling I may be posting on here again very soon. Otherwise, you're fooling yourself into thinking you won't be spending some of your loneliest years ahead of you. Just because you have a mate doesn't mean you won't feel alone in the end if you make a choice in going against who you are as a person. Why do i hate being married don't like food you spent time making from scratch, they don't want to walk to the park, they want to go to the park half way across town. Today's kids are a bunch of brats who never want to work for anything. I see it with my niece and nephews in their late teens and now start to see it in my own who are 9 and 12. I regret kids and all the time, money and effort I have put into them. You want to feel profound sense of happiness: learn to enjoy your free time, find work that you love and always keep learning. I go to therapy out of some sort of expectation. But I know what's wrong with me. I love my child but I feel imprisoned by parenthood. I'm confined and there's never going to be a way out. And when there is a tiny semblance of hope, when my child eventually moves out, I'll be too old and too tired from my years of servitude to even care about living life and going after my dreams blah blah. I'll have no money or savings and no energy. I want to tell my therapist this is the reason I tried to kill myself. I want to say that being a parent fills me with such depression and anxiety. I wish I could tell my therapist that I wanted to set myself free from the sadness and guilt for why I feel this way. I'm exhausted and can't see myself being here anymore. The confinement is suffocating and the heaviness is unbearable. I read somewhere that becoming a parent feels like you die so your child can live. All your hopes and dreams, your free spirit if you were one before child your desires to travel, your creativity, your ambition all gone. I have nothing left to give so why drag out the pain any longer. My mother loved being a mom and she was amazing at it. And growing up, my siblings and I knew it. Personally, I have why do i hate being married had the desire to be a mother. I could selflessly do it for him when I am closer to 40 when my career is more in order, because I know how amazing he is with kids and what a fantastic father he would be. We love each other, so breaking up has been so hard. I want him to go find someone who would why do i hate being married ecstatic to do the parenting thing with him because he deserves all that happiness. He was and still is so inconvenienced by his kids, and we barely have a relationship with him now. I am ending a relationship because she wants kids and I don't see myself having them. One word of advice I can give you because I am about 3 years older than you is that I keep putting it off and said when I get older I will do it for her but that time does not seem to come. It keeps getting pushed further and further. The breakup has been killing me but she deserves someone who will be happy about having a child with her. I wish it could be me but I will be miserable so I have to end it. How are things going with your breakup. My ex and I have been officially broken up for almost 2 months now. We moved out of the apartment we shared together, and I spent the first month totally heartbroken. I am doing better now, but I occasionally get angry at him over certain things. I miss him, but I know it is best for both of us since our end goals are obviously different. It has still been hard to lose the person you love though. We have been broken up for 3 months now. She left the apartment and it was difficult to be alone at our place. I half heartedly tried to get back and salvage the relationship but I knew I was prolonging this and would be in the same position in a year. I was heartbroken and still miss her and think of her when I go on dates. But she was running out of time to start a family. I have an incredible amount of guilt for not letting her go before. I really thought something inside me would click and I would be ready. I hope you are hanging in there. I have an awesome relationship with my mother, and I did with my grandmother as well before her death. It is the bonds that I formed with them that have made me realize that the kid thing is actually something I want to do later. I just know for sure that I am not ready right now. I have seen him twice since the official break up, and yesterday was one of those times. My heart has to let go so I can move on. I guess you and I just have to give it time. I absolutely hated it, which made me never want to have kids. The trouble was that we got along great and I was very happy when her kids weren't around. We broke up, but had a hard time keeping apart and would still sleep together now and then. My solution to end this cycle, was to move across the country. Unfortunately her plans included me getting her pregnant. I pleaded for her to get an abortion, but she wouldn't, only offering that I didn't have to be there for him. I figured I would do the right thing and be with her for the sake of our child. I'm single, 34, and live with my dad. I love my child, but hate being a father. It bothers me so much that I made the decision to not have kids, and made that very clear to her, only to be disregarded. There's a double standard that if a woman doesn't want to have a child and has an abortion, it's her body, her decision. But if a man doesn't want to have a child, he's a deadbeat. Thank God for internet and anonymity. No birth control is 100% effective. Verify with a physician that one won't nullify the other some spermocides deteriorate some condoms. When it comes down to it, you're going to be the one stuck raising the kid, while they are living their life. We've never wanted to sit around defending some video game company's source code from network intruders - We prefer to help nonprofits, private investigators, Private Individuals, government contractors, and other traditionally underserved populations. And We'd rather match skills against the best in the field of state-sponsored hackers engaged in economic espionage than put some kid in prison for pranking the phone company. When a company tries to hire Me, the first question I ask is: Who is this going to help. Well, I'm here anonymously because I am too embarrassed to admit this to anyone. I went thru holidays, summers, celebrations, college all alone. Always saw people I was so attracted to date others. I felt that if I only could get one of these people I would be so grateful. Now, my partner wants children. All the holidays are tailored around family time. When I was single, I would go to a coffee shop on a holiday and feel embarrassment that I had no one. I constantly look at others and wish I could date others. The moment i break this off I will no longer have this person and off I go to lonely holidays, no dates for the office party, no weekend plans. I am telling myself if I have a baby we can stay together and I won't be the kid at the empty table anymore. But what if you aren't attracted to your significant other. Children bring meaning to your life in a way that the childless cannot imagine. Even if you don't enjoy looking after nieces and nephews it's entirely different when they are your own. All of a sudden those boring games are all fun. You cannot know real love until you have children. You live a half life if you do not have children. Even when you have had a bad day with your children just one laugh or smile makes it all worthwhile. Imagine how lonely you and your partner will be in the future when your parents are gone and there will be no children to come over and visit. There will why do i hate being married no one to take care of you when you're old if you remain childless. If you don't have children you will not get to relive your own childhood or ever understand the journey of your own life. Parenting is magical: Christmas with children is amazing fun, going on adventures is amazing fun and seeing the world through their eyes and helping them learn is the best feeling imaginable. As the majority have children you'll find that your friends drift away into their own worlds and you'll never feel quite complete I have to say that I have noticed this. All my friends have children now and there is a sense that they somehow look down on us for being childless. It's hard to define the feeling. Childfree is the way to go if being around kids is unappealing. Parents and kids are looked down on why do i hate being married blamed for all societies problems, especially low income ones. Being a mum is actually something to be verbally insulted about in the uk today, you are treated as vermin as if all these childfree people are paying for your kids. I feel like I just need to say it myself because I don't think I can talk to anyone about it. I married at 28 and that marriage came with a step child. It was a learn curve but I immediately felt the reality sink in. I told myself it would get better, but it was just frustration after frustration. He was 3 then, 6 now and he's not at all a bad kid. The reprieve was that he would spend time with his dad and I felt like I could recharge a bit. Then we had our baby together. He ended up being fine but small, though he's grown rapidly after a year. My wife suffered so much through that nine months and it was sickening to watch. We both decided then and there that we'd never have another one. After he was born, the first six months destroyed us. Because he was so high need, he couldn't be put down for a second without screaming. He didn't sleep, and consequently we didn't sleep. Both of our careers and earnings suffered despite being a very productive six figure household prior. It drove my wife and I apart worse than anything that ever happened. She became suicidal at a point, ended up having an affair and I lost my job interim. Now we're just waiting until we get our resources together enough to split. I love my kid, but I hate the reality that it imposes on us. I hope I don't feel like this forever. He's grown a lot why do i hate being married some thing have gotten easier but other frustrations are just beginning. I told myself in my early 20s that I'd never have a kid. I wish that I had stuck to that and not let everyone influence my decisions, wife and parents included. I'd be so much happier right now. It's far too much or a burden. I don't think sacrificing everything for a child is worth ruining your life. That may not happen as every day I get closer and closer to pulling the trigger. You guys have been lied to and mislead. My oldest I'm convinced is intellectually disabled or slow. My youngest is very intelligent and advanced. Oldest did Early Intervention for autism and was found to not be on the spectrum, but he just takes forever to learn. We have spent so much money on therapies which are just worthless. We take him out to educational places like parks, playgrounds, museums, frequently. He's doing three years of preschool. He has all developmental and educational toys. His sister was pretty much ignored most of her life because we fussed over him so much. I'm heartbroken, because she might be the only healthy child we will have and I have no memory of her as a baby and few photographs. I've always been an introvert and a homebody. I worked with kids during and straight out of high-school but I was still shocked at the very limited amount of time I have to take care of myself. My teeth are horrible because I have kids pulling on me and screaming at me to get out of the bathroom, a lazy husband that just doesn't want to parent, no clean clothes because I'm too exhausted to wash, and I can't lose weight due to the stress - the kids won't let me eat in peace, so when I do eat I binge. I literally don't have any help. Why do i hate being married have no friends, they're all drug addicts thanks to the opiate epidemic. Deceased, mentally ill, or drug-addicted. If there's anybody that's around me that is my age millennial they are so emotionally stunted they act as if they are young teenagers, so they aren't really capable of babysitting for any length of time. There are why do i hate being married few times where it seems worth it, watching the kids play together, snuggle on the couch, or opening up gifts - but honestly, I wish I never had them. I'd take a week off, sometimes more, and just disappear from it all. I would just pack and go where the wind took me. Being a parent means everything, and I mean everything, has to be planned. Everything is double now - fares, accommodation, eating etc. Can't just take a week off, it has to be within school holidays or we'll get in trouble. No one wants to put up a child too, for a few weeks. Now when things get too much for me, I can't escape for a while to get my head right, and come back fresh. No, I have to wack on a fake smile and pretend I'm all okay. The huge responsibility of this has made me suicidal. Something I never was before, because, yep, I could why do i hate being married some time out to rest before. That's what parenting feels like to me. And the icing on the cake: I love my child to bits. So the guilt is very very real. I think she wanted a kid as a concept- to show off in a photo album or school play or whatnot. I knew early on that parenting holds no allure for me, so I'm not gonna force some helpless kid into the world If I don't want it. This post described everything I feel except I'm not a man I'm the mother. His father is not in the picture. I figured out this was a huge mistake about a month and a half after he was born. After I had recovered from everything and the insane sleepless nights. And what I related to the most was I stay up insanely late too. I had another which i wanted to abort but my partner didn't want me to. The stress these kids cause me has made me suicidal and ill. They are nearly 2 and 4 now and it just gets worse. I can't wait till they are both at school out of my hair all day. I love them so much so alot of guilt for hating being a mum. I was an independent free spirit. I am a shell of who i was and i resent my kids cos of it. Had my first kid within a year if that Second kid three years later. Because unlike some people, I know when to stop reproducing I regretted having a kid almost instantly. The kids stress out my marriage, my career, almost every other aspect of my life. I'm basically going to give up most of my life just so these kids might live a decent life. It does give me purpose at least. Something I lacked before, a purpose. I just wish I could serve that purpose without giving up myself. It's taking time, but I'm essentially rewiring myself into a dad. Into someone who can cope with the demanding parent life. I've just come to accept that this is it, and I have to find a way to live that way now. I always felt guilty for feeling exactly like this. Not that it's any easier to leave, but considering this isn't your child, like the other commenter says, you can just leave as it's not yours. Go and get the life you know you deserve. Be with someone who doesn't want to be a parent. Live out your days blissfully happy, earning and learning. And be thankful all the days of your life. It's too late for most of us, there's sadly no turning back. There are lots of child-free people: more than there have been in history. With the internet, it shouldn't be hard to find a potential match in your area. I did it the old-fashioned way 23 yrs ago, when it was much more difficult. Now they are older it's much easier and I enjoy it much better. We go out and do fun things instead of being stuck at home all the time. You sound overwhelmed why don't you save some money and go on a trip get out of town even if it's only for a few days. If you truly hate your kids then you should give them up you don't deserve to be a dad. I don't think you really hate them I think you are just overwhelmed and depressed. Get help for the depression too. Never wanted to get married nor have children. I dated all the time and was engaged before I dated my present wife but couldn't pull the trigger on the wedding. Why do i hate being married the arrangements and preparations made me to sickenly anxious that I called it off only a few months before. My wife and I had our child before we were married and that freaked me out when she told me she was pregnant. I'm a retired police officer who became a professional sports handicapper, which means I wager on sports for a living. I love it because I'm my own boss and I get to dictate how much money I make. It's all about the freedom that enthralled me plus I was very good at it. But once my wife became pregnant I lost it all. Over 250k of saved money and bank roll. I panicked thinking I needed to make millions. My wife is a career woman and has always made a decent salary and I have a decent pension along with health coverage but I've made so many poor decisions selling valuable property that has increased in value so much along with yielding excellent rental income. I'm a stay at home Dad taking care of my wife, son and 87 year old mother because we bought a mother daughter home in the suburbs. To the average person it seems like I have it all. An attractive wife, good health, a beautiful son, both parents still alive and your traditional center ball colonial home. Underneath it all I'm miserable, broke and not nearly as fit or attractive as I once was. I did an amazing job with my son when he was an infant according to all but most things come easy to me ranging from school to work and the ability to network and socialize and I have not given my best to any facet of family life or at least the level I know I'm capable. It all stems from being a victim of sexual abuse as a child at the hands of a half sibling. I also come from a broken home. I told every woman I've ever dated that if she wanted kids that I was not the guy for her. She said she couldn't have kids and didn't want any. Then she gets pregnant and does a complete 180. So now I am stuck helping raise a child, that I love, but never wanted. There are days I just wish I could end it all, but like with everything else now. I have to think about my kid first and his well-being. No child support for fifteen years with one and nine with the other. Icing6on the cake my daughter gets pregnant her senior year. My niece gives birth 10 months ago. And I'm back to rearing children again. Was on birth control with three and still got pregnant. See here is the thing I had kids because I loved my ex husband and ex fiance. I am hear with two different visitation schedules with never one solid weekend to myself. He still travels and for the most part lives like a single person. I love my kids but truly hate my life. As most here say the same, I think we all need to be big advocates for free birth control for everyone. It sounds like most here made the decision to have kids, but 50% of pregnancies are not planned and I imagine a huge percentage of those 50% regret getting pregnant and keeping the kid. Would a free vasectomy prevented your second, third or fourth. Universal birth control access of all kinds will help why do i hate being married not make the mistakes we all did. And we won't have to pay with the kids that are dropped into the system. For those parents who are over age 35 and with children over the age of 5 who say they regret having children would you say that you act this way. When you're around your kids or in public would anyone know how you really feel. The happy parents you see are keeping up appearances, running on coffee, 2 hours of sleep and self-loathing. Hollywood and advertising has created a modern myth where parenting and children are magical unicorns with laughter on fluffy why do i hate being married clouds. Now we're forced to live the torture of that myth. My wife and I never seriously discussed kids before we got married. I made my case for all the reasons we should not have children. She even agreed with a lot of my reasoning, but got to a point that it was a completely irrational desire. I felt like it was either have a kid or end the marriage. Our relationship deteriorated throughout the pregnancy. I can't help feeling like we're just partners in this now to deal with what we've done. I'm feeling overwhelming sadness and dread for what the rest of my life is. Ironically my first born was not planned and I begged my then husband to put him up for adoption. However, after he was born we bonded instantly. He's quiet, even tempered, smart, well behaved, great student, everything. When I had my daughter I expected more of the same. I can't stand her 90% of the time. She screams constantly, just to hear herself. She scratches and bites because she thinks it's funny. She won't sit still to get dressed, or get in the car seat. Every meal she flings food all over the place. If my first born was like this I would never have had two. I still enjoy spending time with my son, but so much of my time is consumed keeping her out of trouble I rarely have time for him. And nobody cares i've noticed. Nobody wants to hear me complain. I wish I could be a hermit in the mountains. Sheesh, sorry all the adults that had to deal with me. Once was enough for me to see that. My child is in his late teens now soon to leave home for college and I'm counting down the days. I dream of coming home why do i hate being married an empty house. Better still, I dream of why do i hate being married up home somewhere far away from all human life with only trees for company so I can maybe regain some of the energy I've lost over the past 17 years. Parenthood has left me depressed, angry, pessimistic, sad, dreamless and made me suicidal. I wasn't meant to be a parent some are, some aren't. I will never do this or anything remotely like this marriage, cohabitate, long-term friendship, lengthy phone contract ever again. Give them up for adoption In actual fact it is not that easy. You will always worry about what happens to them. You feel bad if they end up in why do i hate being married bad situation. Most people hating parenthood may be responsible beings too. Your marriage will end if your partner does not feel the same. You will be shunned by society. If anything happened to them where I lost them, it would be hard for me to go on. It has caused me such stress and depression. I love my time to myself but now have none. I do the same thing staying up late to get some alone time even if it means I will be dead tired the next day. I find my self snapping or yelling at them because I have no more patients. I sometimes feel like I just can't keep living in this purgatory. And again at the same time I feel unbelievable guilt for these thought because I do love my kids so much. I'm pulled in both directions and it's so overwhelming. I try to get joy in the small moments and family time but really just find myself wanting to get away from it and be alone. I often think driving home, what if I just don't go back. I was always the nurturing friend and the best babysitter so I thought motherhood was perfect for me. I wish now I could go back and tell myself to wait on the kids thing. But see now that brings a shot of guilt because thinking about never getting to know my children makes me sad, too. I just want to be happy but I don't know how. I used to have a career, dreams of owning my own city apartment, used to have an active social life, exciting travels, wine and dine, theater and events. I used to be jovial, happy and attractive. I am angry and miserable every day. Gave up my career for the kids. No time nor money to upkeep myself. It's just a long prison sentence for me. I'm 22 and mother of a 4 year old boy. I matured sexually very early. The coolest guy in school and I started dating, and playing with each other's bodies was new and exciting. We used condoms almost all of the time, but sometimes we had quickies and stuff where he'd just pull out. We really thought we were in love. Well, in my senior year, I discovered I was pregnant. I had no idea at the time what this meant to my future. I'm working a low-level job, because I don't have a degree, the demands of being a mom wear me out daily, and the guy who impregnated me is gone and living some other life with some other woman. My son also has developed slowly. The doctors don't think he's autistic, but he really has not developed socially like normal. I've had to take him to all kinds of specialists and even with insurance it's bone-crushing expensive. If I could roll this whole thing back, I would. I swear I get more happiness being around our dog and cat sometimes, than being around our son, whom I do love, don't get me wrong. I also have a really hard time dating, because people don't want to be around my baggage. I'm just tired and burned out all of the time. If I could go back in time knowing what I do now, would I choose not to have kids. I might even choose not to get married. My wife and I are divorcing as it is and looking back I don't even know if I really ever loved her to begin with. Sometimes you make choices just because you feel like it's what you should be doing. I certainly tried my best to keep it all together and never wanted to have it end up like it has, but here I am. I'm too selfish to be a good dad. I've spent a lot of time over the years doing things with my sons, but never willingly. I think they could always sense that I would have preferred to be doing something else when I was playing with them or hanging out with them. He has been a difficult kid to handle for many years and the past couple its been terrible. He lives with me but doesn't talk or interact with me at all - just relentless anger and basically obnoxiousness from him all the time no matter what I try and do - and sadly I've pretty much stopped trying to do a lot at this point. It's pretty much just let's get him through to 18 and maybe he'll move out and realize he needs to do something for himself. Even so, I often find myself frustrated and wishing I could just do what I want to do without having to think of fun stuff to do with him to fill our time together. I worry that at some point he might go off the rails like the older why do i hate being married has even though he exhibits none of his troubling characteristics. But just in general, there is so much of being a parent that I absolutely hate. I'm introverted by nature and really not confrontational so I take no pleasure at all in having to meet and greet other parents or in dealing with the many issues that arise from managing kids lives. I have a hard time dealing with irrationality which made it difficult to navigate the waters of earlier childhood, since young children are completely irrational. Unfortunately I'm finding teens are even worse. I just don't have the patience necessary for it. I'm a terrible detail person. Organizing and managing the minutia of daily life as a parent is incredibly taxing for me - the doctors appointments and school stuff and sports and all that - which meant that I ended up off-loading a lot of it on my wife and that lead to her resenting me and on and on. I find myself trying to keep everyone separate why do i hate being married in their own space so I can keep any trouble from starting in the first place. I also hate all the noises kids make constantly - drives me nuts. Like I said, just not built for parenting. I'm anxious about what might be going on when my kids are with my wife, and I'm anxious about the fact that my kids mostly the older one will be back with me soon. I find myself dreaming of taking off to live in a cabin in the woods with nothing more than a wall full of book-filled shelves and an endless supply of coffee. I've always been a homebody, so them being here doesn't bother me. My oldest is 9, so I'm fine with him. Actually, I'm very good with the littlest children and then those children aged 6 and up. Unfortunately, my 2 babies are 4 and 2. But, like everything else, this too shall pass. In my case, I found out the most annoying person in my household was the husband. Once I got rid of him, I realized he was half the problem. Now he takes the kids off my hands every other weekend, during spring break, and the month of July. We parent differntltly so my kids have just become selfish brats who disrespect me just like their father. But i can not afford to go seperate ways. I do have many moments where I regret my decision to have a child. I am trying to find the joy and it can be hard at times. Would I make a different choice had I known how much I don't like being a parent, probably. Unlike the guy above who didn't stop at 1, I made it very clear 1 child is enough. I count the days until he goes off to school. Did you just randomly want to come here to agitate honest individuals on arbitrary patenting threads by googling anti patenting subjects only to reassure your own lonely miserable existence in which no one wants to reproduce with you. Seems kinda creepy and lonely, especially since you can't relate to anyone on here, clearly and choose to attack honesty rather than provide anything of value. You have a black and white approach to life. My wife doesn't seem to understand how stressed I am about money. She probably thinks that's on my shoulders now. For the parents out there, after your child was born did the father have time for his hobbies or other pursuits outside of work. When I come from my day job I like to practice and write music. Ask yourself this: How creative do you feel on 3 hours a interrupted sleep, every day for years in a row. How motivated when you know you'll likely only get 1-5 minutes of uninterrupted time to submerse yourself in some creative endeavour. Your wife can be understanding and supportive, but I won't mean a damn thing. Your brain will simply run why do i hate being married 40% capacity the next 17 years. The music is a closed chapter within the first 6 months. I have 3 kids, and I'm a shell of my former self. I have found that the mother will take on most and the father gets to why do i hate being married or hide away with work. However, I think you might enjoy playing and writing music with your child. You could play your creations for your baby. Baby's brain would love that maybe not if it's real hard rock or metal. It might become a nice bonding time. Even for big bands, we met when he was opening for the black dahlia murder. He still plays on weekends because he quit the band to pursue a full time career. Though, he still gets to enjoy it some. My brother in law plays full time in his band and music is their major income. He chose to do recording and went to school in order to stay in the feild. Unfortunately, when he was 6 months old I was laid off from my job. But my wife makes enough money to be a stay at home parent. When it was just me and my little dude I had plenty of time for my hobbies he just chilled with me and he talked to me, you know, like baby chatter. But then we had to get custody of my wife's 11 year old brother. He doesn't clean up after himself. They house stays a mess because his big 16 yr old sister will come down to visit and she and he will leave garbage everywhere. Why do i hate being married a smart ass and he won't leave me alone. This caused fights between my wife and I because he also wants to rough house with me constantly. It isn't cute either, he's eleven and he will actually full force punch me in the face. I did the unthinkable yesterday. He hit me in the face and broke my glasses, my good pair. I didn't know what to do, I've never had an 11 year old before. My wife fought with me for hours. But I told her what he had done. She got onto him a little but when I went to tell him that he's grounded she stopped me and told me I wasn't allowed to do it. I miss my time; I miss not being embarrassed to have my friends over. I miss the times when the kid lived with his grandma. She could put up with him some how. But she passed,and I've been struggling with that, on top of that my own grandmother passed a month after. And immediately following that my grandfather killed him self. I was a producer on the up - had kids in my 40s - life over. A word of warning to anyone who has dreams of a career that needs endless hours of practice and improvement and focus dont have kids. Especially dont have kids if you are on the brink of something great. Finally dont have kids in your 40s - it's horrible mental torture as a man. Because he has laid all of the child reading to me. I've given up everything, my hobbies, my job, my friends, and he still has all of those things for himself. I gave up writing because he told me it interfered with our family time. But really he just doesn't want to be in charge of our child. In the 8 years I've been a mom and have been away from my son maybe three times. And only one of those times did he stay with our kid. I have no one where I am to watch my kid. But I don't think you should be that kind of parent. If you share the responsibly with your partner I'd imagine parenthood isn't so bad. I want to be a good dad but it's tough when your wife becomes a moaning, aggressive, complaining, fat horror just cos she had a kid. The major burden is what happens to women after kids. We cant help how having a child changes our bodies. We look ugly cos we are drained knackered n miserable with no time to look after ourselves. She probably feels suicidal at losing her looks. Some people lash out when their miserable, some people ask for help, and others take things into their own hands. My guess is she's probably unhappy with you just as much as you are with her. My mom remarried so when i was a teen i was raising her two young kids. Basically every chore belonged to me and my nights were babysitting. I joined the Army to escape and got hurt, so yeah that didnt work well. Then at 20 my depo shot failed me. Im 32 with three kids, a job a hate and i life i find to be miserable. I have no family support so no off switch. I was forced to work nights because my husband refused to try another other then his low paying comforting job. So kids all day and work till midnight. I'm 51, the girls, who are great as far as kids go, are 13 and 11. I have 7 years minimum before they are out of the house. People have always told me enjoy this stage as it's the best. I've always looked at them with a blank stare, not comprehending anything they are talking about. I have never experienced a good stage with kids. I've hated every single stage since they were babies. You spend endless time wishing for some escape but are unable to. You become a slave to this job. I miss the carefree tines with my wife when we could go out with no worries and do wgat we wanted, when we had friends that it wasn't an ordeal to get together with and where the conversation didn't revolve around, guess what, kids. I'm overweight now not obese I hardly ever laugh and I probably drink and snack too much. My relationship with my wife has changed radically. Most of conversation is about. Well, that was why do i hate being married least cathartic typing it out, lol. First reason is that I don't have any maternal instincts at all. I can't even take care of myself, let alone another human being that's fully dependent on me. I also can't relate to kids, well, which is natural because I'm already an adult. Children's show and activities bore adults. I know children will grow up to be adults 3. I don't think I will ever be financially ready for a child. I know I am not that smart to become filthy rich. So my earning capacity is only sufficient for me. Currently, whenever I have some financial situation, it's more of an inconvenience rather than earth-shattering. Even the small dents on my income sometimes already stress me out, I can't imagine a parent's. I don't want to put myself in a situation that I can't get out from. I also love to travel and experience all this world has to offer. It's just a desire to experience living. I'm just passing here once and I'm going to live the heck out of it. My parents, especially my dad, weren't exactly happy or ecstatic all the time just because they have us. My father was an alcoholic and was depressed, even if I only realized it looking back. And even if my why do i hate being married had three adult kids, he still passed away by himself in a hospital, as we three kids were busy with either school or work. Not exactly the romanticized idea people see in the movies where the entire family is just by the bedside all throughout. I really feel sad when I think of the life my dad had to go through to raise us and the toll it took on his physical and mental health. To think of it, we were well-behaved, intelligent, and self-sufficient kids. They stopped having a life of their own. They always have to think of their child's needs before their own. It's like they disappeared and all I ever see are their kids. It's also hard to invite them out or ask them to go on a vacation because their kids need them. However, the pressure to have kids is very real and it's coming from everywhere - friends who have kids, relatives, social media, television, etc. My friends will tell me to hurry up and have a kid before 35 because pregnancy by then would be more difficult. Or I would have no family when I grow old. But like I said, having a family by blood doesn't guarantee a meaningful, blissful existence. And aren't most parents posting here already admit that they feel empty. Anyway, I'm glad people here are honest and it just cemented my decision ever since I was young not to have kids - ever. Still think kids need a summer break. No one cares if they stress or complain. Try not to hurt your own lil bundles of joy. What's there to be angry at the world for. Thank God I don't have kids and complain and moan like you idiotic parents on here. Unlike you, I don't think I should please society's false morality of raising kids. Get some sleep darling, you might need it. I wish i knew now when i was in my 20s. Some people on here are truly frightening. Killing yourself, wishing you'd got an abortion, regretting your whole life. Stop thinking about yourself so much. They didn't ask to be here and they didn't ask to have parents who don't want them. And trust me when they are older they will hate you. You know when your parent regrets having you. No wonder all your kids are so hard to live with. I was looking for some empathy online in reading posts from other parents dealing with the same sort of feelings, but most of the stuff I've read on here is just awful. Never do I wish my children weren't born. Never do I regret my husband or the life we have made together. Sure, it would be nice if we had a lot more money and could do more and make life a little easier with hiring someone to clean or do the yard work. It would be nice if we could afford to send our daughter to an all day preschool. It would be awesome if we could afford to send her to do activities to keep her boredom at bay. I can't get mad at my husband for not making more money. He works hard to support our family. He is a loving, supportive, wonderful person and I am lucky to be married to him and our children are lucky to have him as their father. I fault myself, not my children, for my lack of patience. I try very hard to be a good mother. Sometimes I feel like I am doing a great job, but there are a lot of times I feel like a failure. There are many days when my temper gets the best of me way too quickly. I would never hurt my why do i hate being married, but sometimes I worry that my raising my voice so often and losing my temper so frequently will hurt my relationship with them. To me, it feels like Mama is mean and Daddy is fun. Do I miss life before children. They why do i hate being married joy and laughter into my life. Sometimes I just watch them when they aren't paying attention to me and I'm so in awe of this little tiny person why do i hate being married I partially created and it brings tears to my eyes. Did you have the same problem and are tryna cover it up because I don't see the point of your comment. What type of mother are you if you're a bully. Are you're comfortable bullying someone else for not being able to control their feelings and genuinely seeking help or an opinion. Speaking of bullies they hurt ppl. And guess who better hope their child isn't on the verge of killing their self or someone else. Her reaching out for help shows her love for her children. You on the Internet downplaying peoples problems. Sincerely the bully who was bullied and checks the bullies. Go pat yourself on the back somewhere else for liking parenthood. This is obviously meant to be a safe place for People to vent not feel worse about how they already feel. I'm a therapist and feelings are very real. Just because you have a higher tolerance for children don't come here judging and parading your ability to cope with others who can't. Hope you feel better about yourself. Why do i hate being married western society we parent in a vacuum with little help and support. I've found it to be lonely and isolating. The friends I grew up with are in another state. I've lived in my current state for 10 years but have trouble making friends. I don't have family who can help out or deflect the energy. I can understand why people end up getting desperate and doing irreversible things. Kids are essentially little mental patients. I find it's best to be around them as little as possible and if you can afford it have them in a sport or something. He seems to be doing his best under extremely difficult circumstances. Kids are not something you can take back if it is not for you. It is the only descision that will irrevocably change a moral and responsible persons existence. The gravity of which should be openly discussed with kids at far greater length than it currently is in our pro-natalism orientated society. I remember my dad who is also a self-proclaimed child disliker saying it's hard but it's worth it. Or we're all just lying to you. I think parents are in a big club devoted to lying to people without kids to join the misery. I'll bet there's a private Facebook group somewhere with a couple hundred million members where they get together and chat about how to convince otherwise pseudo-happily childless people why do i hate being married join the group. But maybe there isn't happiness anywhere. I joke with my wife that we could have had a boat. But boats are expensive and require constant maintenance too. Then again, don't assume but you're probably right. I've met other childfree people who are actually happy being. I cherish my childfree life that The Lord blessed me. Maybe my or our freedom is a reminder to those who simply gave up on their life and had nothing going for them. Projecting your anger upon me, I see. Thank God I didn't, adamantly Childfree sweetie. You must be immensely stupid to think I am apart of the hard. I'll be chillin with no stress or worry. You just see having kids as a default or just to keep you busy. Clearly I'm grabbing a lot of you miserable parents attention. Don't you have your boring lil bastards to talk to, if they can comprehend that is. You really hate parenthood and probably the fact your kids ruined it just by existing. Here's a logical solution: deal with your mistakes. If children aren't a need, then they're wants. Smile and in a cheerful mood, still keep in touch with their ex spouse. The kids are so polite, loved, so cute. Some are cute but a lot of work that doesn't have to be extremely hard. I hope you don't kill yourself, then again, you'd leave your spouse more miserable with the kids. Oh wait, I don't need kids to validate my existence like you, considering you have kids and you allow them to ruin your life. You just proved me right how you regretful parents are truly miserable. What other amazing fantasies you can come up with about me. I want to party and meet different people. I want to drink and smoke weed till I pass out. You have to be responsible now, Mr. When I was single life had its obstacles but it was fun-ish. It's just a massive brick wall that enlarges when you try to climb it. I love em dearly why do i hate being married I'd rather rip my own intestines out through my knee caps than be a dad. I justify it by saying, well I'd be so much more relaxed and living a healthy lifestyle that I would live longer both for myself and. Of course, I'm far too responsible to do that even though they are driving me into the ground. I don't enjoy my life like I used to but I endure. This is the sort of thing that terrifies me about having kids. My mom had me one week after her 22nd birthday. My birth father left when I was 6 weeks old. My dad I grew up with adopted me when I was 4. My mom was pregnant with my sister at her wedding when I was 4. I know they love us, but they struggled. My mom was why do i hate being married run down, my dad had a drinking and gambling problem and had no education and broke himself down working in factories his whole life until he had a stroke a few years ago and retired disabled. My mom retired disabled as well after years of working on her feet as first a teaching assistant, and then a teacher when she was finally able to go back to school. One has a hellion of a kid who has two kids by two different baby daddys and no education. The other has a severely disabled daughter and a son who is in his 30s and a bum with no job never had one. People call me an old maid at 36 and warn me that if I don't change my mind I'll die alone, but I don't give a damn. Go cry and lock yourself in a close. Now you're stuck and must deal with that mistake you made. Good news, it might leave you and never return. I know I still look back at the bullshit that went on in our house when I was a kid and blame my mom, even though deep down I know she was doing what she thought was best at the time. I don't agree with her on much of anything, and I keep my distance from the shitshow that is my extended family. I mean, he's okay, but the stroke gave him cognitive issues and he'll never be able to do things like take care of official business, pay bills, remember doctor's appointments and orders, etc. So, she's still giving her life to care for others, just like she's been doing since she was 22. I raised my two on my own, just finished that up and got remarried and spent ten more years raising 3 more. My wife got sick early to I did it all, work, cook, clean, caretake my wife and raise her kids. Their father paid nothing, she earned nothing and I never got a dime of child support from anybody. Well, I'm why do i hate being married now, just got done spending 36 years doing almost nothing I wanted to do. I have 5 kids that text me happy birthday and happy father's day and diligently call me when they need money or a car worked on. I work with children every day. I realized this while I was in college, thank goodness. And the longer I sat with that decision, the more right it felt. I know I chose right for myself and my life. I know there are people out there who regret parenthood as you do. No one dares speak of it, because there's no point and because of the backlash why do i hate being married other parents. Although, when I feel helpless, reading that other people feel the same thing vents some the pressure. Ads 1 to the days since meltdown clock. I love my kids, I like my kids mostly. I love my wife, I like my wife mostly. But I can't help missing a life that was 'mine'. My life isn't mine now, whether the sense of time life or the sense of vitality life. It belongs to three soon to be four other people that bleed it off slowly. My time isn't mine, my money isn't mine, why do i hate being married theirs. My energy is theirs, my property is basically theirs. I can't leave them and wouldn't want to do that to them. I can't imagine a scenario where I would still be with their mother after 9 years. I love her but they kept me coming back. I can't stand the idea of another man having any say. She would consider it an affront to God to admit, but I know it drains her as well. I wouldn't change it and not have them exist, but I've traded my life for theirs and I mourn it's passing regularly. I could be within months of having enough passive income to travel why do i hate being married world. Not a fortune but enough for me to get by on my own. There certainly is a magic to it, and it isn't hard to imagine being equally or more miserable single. I love my mom and brother and sisters but don't have to be responsible to or for them every hour of every day for the rest of my life. They give life back to me, and I don't mind when they take. But my cohabitors drain my life gluttonously. I pay all the money and stress to the world then have to answer to them. Lucky for love, whether it's God himself or a chemical cocktail that defies logical responses to aid reproduction. Wonder if mom felt the same way. I'm not a dad yet but I know that I feel regret sometimes that it hasn't happened for my wife and I and maybe you'd feel the same if you hadn't had kids at all. Friends of ours have driven themselves to almost suicide because they struggled to have kids and they would always look at those with children and build up in their minds the perceived wonders of parenthood whilst missing the wonders they had, right there, in their freedom. What I'm trying to say is that life makes us feel regret and longing for whatever we perceive to be on the other side of the fence. People have all sorts of ideas about being a parent. Sharing your thoughts and dreams with a smaller version of yourself. It's highly romantic, isn't it. Kids are a life drain, they bleed you dry until you are devoid of happiness and any semblance of your former self. I am so incredibly happy when I'm alone, in my car, at the store, literally anywhere. I get anxiety when I have to come home to them. This is simply the life script you adhere to. Not one person could breed on this earth for 40 years or more and we'd all be just fine. I also have 4, and our lives are very busy. Between a full-time job and 4 kids, my husband and I barely speak anymore. There are times when I feel like I was not cut out to be a mom, but then I look at what happy and wonderful people our kids are turning and realize we are doing a great job. But at the end of the day, we knew what we were sacrificing to become parents. It is all worth it to me, and I'm sure it is to you too. Judge Judy teaches idiots common sense and you failed to accept the truth. Not my fault you're trapped raising lil bastards you regret having. How selfish can you idiots possibly be. Keep busy so you won't have anymore. Too bad you're not Superman to reverse time, you just weren't thinking. It's the desire to have a mini me. It's mostly women that want children. They get to focus their time and energy on playing mommy and the husband just turns into a tool to those ends. Ewwwww but goodness so many regretful stories. I love my kids blah blah blah. Glad to play therapist but whoa. Not dragging a lil parasite around me. My temper is triggered easily. But a little easier to swallow with a tall glass of beer, lol Stay strong brother, I'm right there by your side in spirit. I feel you 100% Check out Louie C. It's on Netflix or you can just Google it. Stand up comedy in general really helps me get through it all. You're a hero in my eyes brother. I have nothing but love for you. But I hope you find some comfort in this response. I know what it's like having these feelings and not being able to talk about them. Everone looks at you with disgust if you bring up anything remotely negative about being a parent. And I feel like I'm a bad person for the way I feel. I've tried therapy, but it didn't work. You're a great man for sticking it out, brother. I can't express how much of a relief it is to hear that someone has the same feelings as me about being a parent. I really suggest - and this is going to sound horrible, I why do i hate being married - but I really do suggest you try to take a shot of alcohol when these feelings get overwhelming. If you can deal with 4 dream killers running around, you can definitely deal with a nasty taste in your mouth for a minute. When times are really tough I'll take a pain killer. That's the best way I've found to handle it. Both of these options really take the edge off and makes it easier to act like your happy to be around them. It's not their fault they were born. Just don't become a drunk or a druggy and ruin their life that way either. I regret it every day of my life. All I wanted to do was spend my 20's back packing around the world. Now I'm 30 and that dream is long gone. All I can do is think about what could have been. I stuck around because it's not her fault and I don't want her growing up with daddy issues. I put on a smile and give her big hugs and do things with her, but it takes a lot out of me to put on such a facade. But I made my bed and now I have to lie in it. Sometimes I wish I would have chosen not to be there at all and just pay my monthly fee - I mean child support. She's actually a really good kid. I worry she's going to see through my acting one day and it's going to break her heart. And I only have to see her every other weekend. So I'm not going to have them leaving with me. Plus I live in a different country and partial misanthropic. So if they think that I'd take care for them as they age, think again. I feel sorry for large families. I don't feel sorry for miscarried women, could be a blessing or you deserve it. Hence why parents on here complain and whine. It sounds like you'd be perfectly happy grinding your parents into cat food were that an option. You're going to have a lot of trouble living with yourself when you get old. Maybe you've already thought of that and have decided to kill yourself before then. I would highly recommend that option. You feel zero responsibility to your parents as they age. I simply can't comprehend that attitude. This may sound harsh, so please don't take it the wrong way but, you probably should not have been born. Learn things the why do i hate being married way and it didn't have to be hard. Yeah I cared enough to comment as anyone on here but I really can careless about these parents problems. Babies are a sack of potatoes that are unimportant to others. Scenarios: 1 kid dies from cancer, in a car accident, goes missing, whatever. My husband and I were in love, married at 22, had the white picket fence house, dog, etc. We had our baby daughter when I was 24. Well, when my husband hit his 30s, he decided to go into an identity crisis, spend through our money on cars and other toys for himself, while becoming increasingly aloof to the family. He also lost his job and developed a victimized mentality. It wasn't long thereafter when he started preying on younger women and having affairs. I'm now 37 and raising a child on my own. My ex has never paid child support. It is paycheck to paycheck, in terms of finances. I've tried dating a little, but the very few guys who seemed to be contenders didn't like that I had baggage. I don't hate being a parent, but I wish that I had not brought her into the world of difficulty that we experience daily. Of course, I didn't know it was going to be this way at the time. I just wish that life was not so much of a daily battle. Having a child makes it why do i hate being married challenging, but not worse. We'll get through it together, and be stronger for it. I said maybe, Idk you breeders sure are dim. My wife, mother, and mother-in-law keep pressuring me to have another one. I've made it very clear to my wife I will absolutely not have another child. I work and make good money only to spend it all saving for private school, healthcare, trips to the grandparents, etc. While my wife stays at home, by the time I get back from work, she's so tired of dealing with our child that she has no patience for me, we can't even have a conversation. I love her, but her need to have another child borders on insanity. I will gladly pay child support if it comes to that, I don't understand people who have more than two kids then find out they hate it, I knew after the first one, I can see maybe having two, but three or four. Unless I was making a baseball team or needed them to work on the field, I think 2 why do i hate being married more than enough. That's how I wound up with two more. I have great kids; healthy, smartand reasonably well-behaved, but for me it sucked all the way through. The kicker is, that now that I have my life back, I've lost interest in the things I thought I couldn't wait for. I'm equal parts remorseful that I didn't make better memories with my kids, and resentful that my life is over and I never got to live it for me. Divorce the baby factory, pay your child support and find what makes you happy. Your kids know if you're miserable and whether it's because of them or not, they always blame themselves. It's better to have a parent missing from your life than to grow up feeling like the obstacle between your parent and their happiness. I love them, but they are at that hormonal, crazy age, and it drives me crazy. I have done my best to teach them good morals, but the bad influences around why do i hate being married are substantial. The area in which we live is urban and is not the best area, but it isn't the ghetto either. They are also becoming really expensive to maintain. They both play sports, burn a lot of calories, and the amount of food that they eat damn near puts us in the poor house. I can't believe our grocery bill every month. I'm hoping in a few years that they will have the grades and self-discipline to go to college and make something of themselves. As it stands, I'm starting to wear out. If I had it to do over again, I'd think twice about having kids. All of them are with my husband, but when you get older you are just more tired. I had loads of time on my hands and I was healthy when I decided that I wanted two more. Now I'm not as healthy and when you get older it just isn't the same. I love them and they do the cutest things sometimes and I think they are just perfect, it is just that sometimes I wonder what I was thinking. But not as much as it seems to depress you. It sounds like they are here to say I told you so, or it's the same person posting angry and I knew it type comments over and over. I'm child free but I don't take any pleasure in seeing parents who are sleepless or suffering. I think some people come here because they probably were not able to find someone to have children with or maybe for health reasons they couldn't, so now they write harsh comments to parents to prove a point. The parents here are regretful but some of the child free people seem bitter or maybe they are childless not out of choice. I just wish people would put thought into this decision like we do. Besides, with the world in the state it is in at the moment, having children is a moral crime. The planet is dying due to too many people as it is, famine in South Sudan, refugee kids in Syria dying under a butcher of a dictator. People want kids as if they want a Pomeranian or any toy dog for their entertainment or attention. Kids are just little paychecks. When you see an expectant woman rather congrats. But really, what's with the congratulations for. Just telling it like it is and being real. Famine is imminent and these parents will cause a war to feed to their many accidental mouths. A woman down below couldn't get pregnant, now that she has twins, she regrets. They're selfish yet they project that upon us. We're just intelligent to look ahead. They just thought shortsightedly in the here and now they know the truth. Just too stupid and choose not to listen. Famine causes war then disease and children contract disease. The person above can't seem to differentiate between truth telling and anger. I am a parent to my pets and play parents with my niece and nephews. You, a childfree person calling or marginalizing other childfree people as non-parents as if you're insinuating we're all meant to be parents. Here's the bad news sir or ma'am. Childfree isn't a bad word, ok. My life isn't less of wanting a child, trust me on that. I have nuturing traits for those I love. Maybe you're the one on the fence of wanting a child but couldn't. Usually such venom is reserved for deflecting feelings of envy. I'm not a boastful person because things backfire on me, why do i hate being married la vie hehe. I do sympathize for the parents on here, and honestly, sorry to hurt some of you, but some of these comments from parents are utterly absurd and inane for procreating children, I mean seriously. There's no reason to, I got myself fixed years ago, so no health or infertility issues here, life's swell. They'll eventually get bored and tired. You just possibly stirred up their pot. I agree, I wish I could just hug for these regretful parents, and I wish you all well. I love how you parents on here are honest, get all that crap of your chests. It's a great deal of pressure for you parents. Kids gloat all the time, Look ma I found a puppy. Sometimes the I told you so's are on point but still. This is this a confession post about your child free life or parenthood. Best schools, best healthcare, foods, etc. There are kids, adults, whom sue their own parents. Now explain why they're not worth it. I can be rest assured that the cons outweighs the pros. Most likely this person will leave you eventually and then you'll be stuck with a kid you don't want, paying bills you dont want and watching her have more kids with another man while you have the kid every other weekend or more. You'll end up knocking someone else up and then you'll have to do it all again. Why would anyone think that a kid will ensure that they'll never be lonely. Have you not seen the divorce rates. Especially after reading this thread where parents are sharing how difficult it can be, you might be setting yourself up for more heartache and pain, as well as paving a difficult path for your children before they even get here. I respect these parents sharing their experience and their difficulties. Perhaps you can look at their honesty as a cautionary tale for you, and even a warning. You may have landed on this page to help you with this decision. And as someone who has dealt with depression and has worked in counseling, Take the time to heal within yourself however you see fit. You deserve to live a life that's actually right for you, and there's plenty of ways out there to help you get through depression and lonliness. I started with a Google search and ended up volunteering on a suicide hotline. Whatever you decide, I'm Wishing you the best, and remember to be good to yourself. Make choices that help you bring out the greatness that is already within. I've never wanted kids in my whole life. He knew this and still assumed I'd just change my mind because a woman who doesn't want kids is 'just a phase'. After about 5 years together, we were going through some tough times but working things out and then the accidental pregnancy occurred. I didn't want this, but between the difficulties we were getting past and the new guilt trip he was bringing in me for not wanting the baby, I allowed myself to be talked into keeping it. Things are better now our child is fourbut I have never once been glad that I let my husband talk me into keeping the baby. I love our child, but I truly hate being a parent and feel that it had sucked the life out of me. My husband and I love each other, but our relationship is not as good as it used to be and I think deep down he knows he asked me to do something I never wanted to do. I think now he knows it wasn't just a phase. I will take any opportunity to get out of the house by myself and do what I want to do. My advice: if you don't want kids, don't have them and don't let anyone talk you into it. Even if you are absolutely in love with someone, don't be talked into it. I am 29 and my friends are all having babies. I have never wanted to be a mother,but everyone around me tells me I will regret it if I don't have children. I'm scared that they are right,and that I and my partner will become lonely and socially isolated as we age. We have to remember that people with kids get lonely too. My grandma and grandpa had eight kids. They now have 40 some grandkids and countless grandkids. Why do i hate being married died in the year 2001 or something like that and grandma feels alone a lot. I think having a partner you can love fully and close relationships no matter what kind of relationships they are is how to escape loneliness. Have hobbies, get out, socialize with people in the community, volunteer, have pets, stay busy, and stop thinking the grass is greener somewhere else or that there is something wrong why do i hate being married you because everyone is jumping off a cliff, plunging into parenting and you don't want to. Sure we won't know what it's like to be parents but they won't know what it's like to fully live life on thier own terms. Having kids only because you're afraid to be alone when you're older is not a good enough reason. You'll find yourself posting often on this blog probably. Love isn't so rare in the world and if not having a child want good enough for him he could've found someone who wanted children and I could've found someone who didn't.

Both secular and spiritual marriages require commitment, for love fluctuates and it requires that dedication to build up the marriage. As a couple, maybe you just have to keep that fire burning inside. Have hobbies, get out, socialize with people in the community, volunteer, have pets, stay busy, and stop thinking the grass is greener somewhere else or that there is something wrong with you because everyone is jumping off a cliff, plunging into parenting and you don't want to. You may even want to consider calling their practice at Bethesda Family Services to get specific counsel just for you. Clearly I'm grabbing a lot of you miserable parents attention. Listen— this post that you just read? My wife is always having some drama. You don't need help paying bills, you've managed your finances perfectly, you're an all-star at work, and being tied to someone else might just end up destroying what you've already built up. If you don't ask the right questions in a relationship with another adult, how will you ask the right questions when it comes to your children? I sleep on the couch most nights.

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released January 11, 2019

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